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Divorcing a Narcissist: Navigate the Storm

Posted by LEISA WINTZ | Sep 18, 2023 | 0 Comments

a couple signing their divorce papers

Divorce is rarely easy, but divorcing a narcissist can be an especially challenging and emotionally draining experience. Narcissists have a deep need for control, attention, and admiration, which can complicate the divorce process. However, with the right knowledge, strategies, and support, you can successfully navigate this difficult journey. In this article, we'll explore the stages of divorcing a narcissist and provide practical tips on how to protect yourself, your children, and your assets during this challenging process.

Stages of Divorcing a Narcissist

  1. Recognize the Narcissism: Before you can effectively divorce a narcissist, it's crucial to recognize their traits and behaviors. Narcissists often exhibit grandiosity, a lack of empathy, manipulation, and a sense of entitlement. Understanding these traits will help you prepare for what lies ahead.
  2. Consult with Professionals: Seek legal and therapeutic professionals experienced in dealing with narcissists. A skilled family law attorney and a therapist can provide invaluable guidance and support throughout the process.
  3. Gather Documentation: Collect all relevant financial and legal documents, such as bank statements, tax returns, property records, and evidence of the narcissist's behavior. This documentation will be essential during negotiations and in court, if necessary.
  4. Set Boundaries: Establish clear boundaries with the narcissist. Limit communication to written form when possible, and use email or text messages to maintain a record of conversations. Avoid getting drawn into emotional or manipulative discussions.
  5. Protect Your Assets: Safeguard your financial assets by opening your bank account, securing your credit, and changing passwords. Ensure that your spouse cannot access your personal financial information.
  6. Child Custody: If you have children together, prepare for a potentially challenging child custody battle. Document the narcissist's parenting behavior and any actions that may endanger the children's well-being. Consult with an experienced family law attorney to protect your parental rights.
  7. Seek Emotional Support: Divorcing a narcissist can take a toll on your emotional well-being. Lean on friends, family, or a support group for emotional support. Consider individual therapy to help you cope with the stress and emotional turmoil.
  8. Stay Calm and Focused: Maintain your composure throughout the divorce process. Narcissists may try to provoke emotional reactions, but staying calm and focused on your goals will be your greatest asset.
  9. Avoid Engagement: Narcissists thrive on conflict and drama. Do not engage in power struggles or arguments. Stick to the facts and focus on your desired outcomes.
  10. Document Everything: Keep detailed records of all communication, custody exchanges, and incidents involving the narcissist. These records may be valuable evidence in court.
  11. Consider Mediation: In some cases, mediation can be a more peaceful alternative to a contentious divorce. However, ensure that the mediator is experienced in dealing with high-conflict divorces.
  12. Prepare for Court: If negotiations fail, be prepared to go to court. Your attorney will help you build a strong case and present evidence of the narcissist's behavior and its impact on the divorce.

Protecting Yourself and Your Children

Divorcing a narcissist can be particularly challenging when children are involved. Here are additional steps to protect yourself and your kids:

  • Child Custody Evaluation: Request a thorough child custody evaluation. This process involves a mental health professional assessing the family dynamics and making recommendations to the court based on the child's best interests.
  • Therapeutic Support: Ensure that your children have access to therapy or counseling to help them cope with the emotional stress of the divorce and any manipulative behavior from the narcissistic parent.
  • Court Orders: Seek court orders that specify visitation schedules, communication guidelines, and decision-making authority. These orders can help minimize conflicts and ensure your children's well-being.
  • Safety Planning: If you have concerns about your safety or your children's safety, create a safety plan in consultation with a domestic violence expert or attorney.

Divorcing a narcissist is undoubtedly challenging, but it is possible to emerge from the process with your assets, rights, and emotional well-being intact. By understanding the stages of divorcing a narcissist and implementing the strategies mentioned above, you can protect yourself and your children during this tumultuous time.

Remember that seeking professional help, both legally and emotionally, is essential. A skilled family law attorney and a therapist can guide you through the complexities of divorcing a narcissist and help you achieve the best possible outcome. Among the experts attorneys at Family Matters we have professionals formed on psychology that can help you navigate this process to the best outcome possible. Don't hesitate. Contact us today and schedule a consultation.

About the Author

LEISA WINTZ

Leisa Wintz originally began her career as a marriage and family therapist. Ms. Wintz went on to attend law school and started practicing family law in 2009. However, she quickly realized that many family law practices lacked the empathy and compassion she believed were necessary in order to achi...

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