As a family law attorney, I've seen many aspects of parenting plans that seem straightforward on the surface become surprisingly complex when you delve into the details. A recent mediation I attended perfectly illustrates this point. It was a relatively simple paternity and timesharing case, where both parents were cooperative and willing to work toward a phased-in plan, eventually leading to a 50/50 timesharing arrangement as their young child grows older.

However, what should have been a quick mediation session turned into a four-hour discussion, focused almost entirely on one seemingly minor aspect of the parenting plan: winter break.

If you're not familiar with family law, you might not realize just how complicated something like winter break can become. It's one of those times of year when personal, cultural, and family obligations converge, creating a perfect storm of expectations, customs, and traditions that parents are often unwilling to compromise on.

The Importance of Winter Break

Winter break is a time filled with family traditions, travel plans, and special moments that parents cherish with their children. For some, it's the most important time of the year—a period when certain days hold immense significance. Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, Hanukkah, New Year's Eve, and other cultural or religious holidays often play a central role in these discussions. 

Because winter break is such a special time, it's also when parents feel the least flexible. One parent may have a tradition of spending Christmas Eve with their child every year, while the other parent may have family across the country or even overseas that they only get to see during this break. Finding a way to accommodate both parents' wishes can be like solving a puzzle, with each piece representing a different but equally important consideration.

The Importance of Customization in Parenting Plans

During mediation, we were able to reach an agreement that worked for both parents, but it wasn't easy. We spent hours negotiating the specifics, ensuring that both parents' traditions and obligations were respected while also considering the best interests of the child.

This experience underscores the importance of really thinking through what's important to you during mediation. Don't just rush into a boilerplate parenting plan. Make sure you're customizing it to reflect what matters most to you and your family. 

However, it's also crucial to remember that mediation is about reaching an agreement. Customization is a privilege of negotiation, not a guaranteed right. If you go in front of a judge, you're unlikely to get the same level of personalization. Judges often have to make quick decisions, and in the case of winter break, they are likely to split the time evenly—half with one parent, half with the other, alternating each year.

The Takeaway

If you find yourself in negotiating a parenting plan, take the time to think carefully about your priorities, especially when it comes to important times like winter break. Remember, the goal is to reach a settlement that works for everyone involved. By doing so, you can avoid leaving these important decisions in the hands of a judge who may not have the time or the context to consider all the unique aspects of your family's traditions and obligations.

At Family Matters Law Group, P.A., we understand the importance of these decisions, and we're here to help you navigate them with care and consideration. If you're facing a similar situation, don't hesitate to reach out to us for guidance and support.