When you and your spouse have decided that you want to part ways, it's an emotionally overwhelming time. When there are children involved, it feels like even more lives are being torn apart. While you may want to go your separate ways, that doesn't necessarily mean you are looking for a battle. It's especially important to you, for the sake of your children, that you and your soon-to-be ex can at least present a united front and remain civil. But isn't divorce acrimonious by nature?
It doesn't have to be. There are ways to move on with your life in a manner that fosters communication and cooperation. Perhaps more importantly, your children will see that although life is changing, their parents can still get along and work together productively. Pro-se mediation is one of those options. Essentially, it gives you the opportunity to forego hiring opposing lawyers by working with a neutral mediator. Your mediatior can help you find amicable resolutions. But what are some other benefits of pro-se mediation?
It can save you a lot of money
When you each have your own attorney, there are two sets of legal fees to pay. Those two sets of legal fees will grow exponentially if your case ends up going to trial. By using one attorney between the two of you, you will have substantial cost savings.
It can ease the tension
You will both have the same, accurate information presented to you at the same time. You are working together rather than being pitted against each other in order to find the best way to part ways. While divorce isn't necessarily pleasant, it doesn't have to make enemies out of one another.
You are part of the process
Instead of letting attorneys run the show, you are empowered to make decisions and have discussions on topics that are most important to you. Your mediator will help guide you toward an agreement, but you will walk away with the terms you have agreed to.
You are laying the groundwork for an amicable relationship in the future
Especially if you will be co-parenting, it is incredibly important to be able to communicate with your ex in a positive manner. Rather than seeing their parents as enemies, they can see that they are still two people who care about them, and who will work together in a constructive way. Should future issues arise, you have set the stage for open discussions that leads to a successful outcomes.
Pro-se mediation requires that you and your spouse are truly willing to collaborate and compromise. If you both can agree to that, it may be the right choice for you.